Saddest week

I cried.

I can't control my sad feeling. I cried during last weekend night out with my colleagues or i should put close friends of mine. It is very sad that nearly all my close friend in my company leaving soon. Loneliness kind of feeling suddenly bump in to my head.

Yesterday which is Mother's day, as usual i called home and greet my mum - Happy Mother's Day. Some of you will happy for me because my sons will greet me as well in this special day. Yes, my son draw a Mother's Day Card, but he is meant for his grandma not for me. I am hurt. It is really hurt deep inside my heart. Tears drop from my eyes again. I am fail for being a mum in his mind.

I need times. A lot of times to calm myself.

I am working on it

Working out my ass off to NOT being sack by bosses.

Working out my ass off to cut my monthly expenses.

Working out my ass off to balance my life.

Working out to get side income to back my exisiting income.

I can't concentrate on my job. Heck that!

I've got no idea what i want, what i am doing, what i need to do, what can i do for my sons. My mind is blank, empty...

Duh..What's going on with me?? Maybe you all will wonder where is Happy go lucky Gwen? Okay..Gwen still alive BUT with lotsa trouble and things need to be plan and settle.

Don't know what i am writing as well. F*uck
-end-

Quiz addicted

Recently been taking quite lotsa of quiz in facebook. It is damn funny!

Gwen just took the "How many children will you have" quiz and the result is 18 kids.
wow better call The Discovery Channel cause you'll need your very own school.

Gwen took the 你適合同咩國家既人拍拖?? quiz and the result is 香港人因為你本身就係超級港男/女

Gwen took the 你生前係咩職業﹖ quiz and the result is 公公（宦官）宦官，也稱太監、公公，是指古代宮廷中替皇族服務並閹割掉外生殖器的男性。宦官是負責宮廷雜事的奴僕，不得參與國家政務，但因與皇室朝夕相處，遂能博取信賴或有可乘之機，故在一些朝代中存在着宦官掌握國家政務大權的情況。 中國早期宦官不一定都是閹人，在東漢之後才完全使用閹人做宦官[1]。唐甄在《潛書》中這樣描繪太監：「望之不似人身，相之不似人面，聽之不似人聲， 察之不近人情。」


Gwen took the 你會點死？ quiz and the result is 飲三鹿奶生腎石死鬼叫你地香港人... 要靠大陸...


Oh Gosh...should i stop taking those quiz? My answer is - NO, because is damn entertaining and makes me feel very happy.

Here is quick update for myself .. I AM MOVED OUT! Tada! Yes, i am not staying with my Emo Aunt anymore and move to somewhere nearer to my office area - Queenstown. Till now i am very satisty on the location, owner and environment.

Year end will have a short trip to Darwin, North Australia. Thank you Danny and Charlene for giving me my first Oversea Trip, counting out Singapore as i am working here instead of holiday. ^_^

It is a remarkable day

Second times being warned on my dress code. I don't know the standard of her kind of proper attire. I had changed but she still not satisfy. arghhh!!

She insisted on IF someday she hates or not satisfy on what I'm wearing, she will straight away "send me home". Which mean..bye bye to my job! Oh gosh..will i be the next one who terminated by company with those ridiculous reason? Who knows..bosses are everything and every time are right. We as an employee only can do whatever they want and no objection! For the sake of money, I have to be patience. Complete what i need to do in additional of 100% more effort.

I proud of myself by stay very calm and steady when come to boss's critic i mean face to face with her today.

Me - Gwen Pan will stay stronger than ever!

Complicated

wordless, speechless, just can't pull out the feeling from my head.