Saddest week

I cried.

I can't control my sad feeling. I cried during last weekend night out with my colleagues or i should put close friends of mine. It is very sad that nearly all my close friend in my company leaving soon. Loneliness kind of feeling suddenly bump in to my head.

Yesterday which is Mother's day, as usual i called home and greet my mum - Happy Mother's Day. Some of you will happy for me because my sons will greet me as well in this special day. Yes, my son draw a Mother's Day Card, but he is meant for his grandma not for me. I am hurt. It is really hurt deep inside my heart. Tears drop from my eyes again. I am fail for being a mum in his mind.

I need times. A lot of times to calm myself.

I am working on it

Working out my ass off to NOT being sack by bosses.

Working out my ass off to cut my monthly expenses.

Working out my ass off to balance my life.

Working out to get side income to back my exisiting income.

I can't concentrate on my job. Heck that!

I've got no idea what i want, what i am doing, what i need to do, what can i do for my sons. My mind is blank, empty...

Duh..What's going on with me?? Maybe you all will wonder where is Happy go lucky Gwen? Okay..Gwen still alive BUT with lotsa trouble and things need to be plan and settle.

Don't know what i am writing as well. F*uck
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