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Being sick for about 2 weeks and now just recovering from it. Recently i am not in mood to do anything. Even watch drama during office hours also doesn't help me getaway from that. I'm even watch it while my manager was sitting right behind my desk. So lucky that my manager did not ask me for not doing this in office. I am totally insane right!! Anyway i am manage to finish the HK drama called Father and son by Bobby Au Yong.

Here are some thought after finish this drama. For rising a kid isn't an easy job for parents. From gave birth to start schooling. Money is a must for that and always love and give support to your kids as well. I am not a good mother for my twins boy. I can not share my time for them as they are in cameron highlands. The only way is thru phone conversation to let us closer. Sometimes miss them a lot and can't hold on blaming myself for not being a good mother.

My elder twin starts his kindergarden few days ago. Time goes fast and i can't imagine that my 4 years old son start schooling. It is happy and exciting for him. But what i've in my mind is when his friends asking about where his "Daddy" will he feel uncomfortable on that? I am for sure that he is much more mature than any other same ages kids. He knows why he don't have daddy although me and my family didn't tell him the actual reason. I am so touch when my son told me that he knows "daddy" did something bad on me. He claims himself also don't want recognize a daddy like that. Proud for having such loving sons.

Single parent or mother is not an easy job. I have to face any problem may happen to my sons. Especially my younger twin. The intangible burden is heavier than anyone thought. I am always stay optimistic for being a single parent. But sometimes things happen to me isn't let me to do so. I have failed in two relationships. Reason why? First relationship is his family can not accept that i am single parent. Second relationship is he giving up for trying so long time to adopt it. Actually i can understand on that. Common sense -- Why choose a lady with kids rather than any other ladies out there? I make myself very clear that if one day i meet a man, i will not ask anything from him for my twins. This is the principle for myself since day one i gave birth to my sons. By the way, i haven't meet my Mr. Right yet or maybe i will stay single for my life long. hahahaha

What i need to do now is keep on "digging" money and give my sons a best living and studying environment.